Failure

Failure is a recurrence, it may hide, but it never truly goes away. And for someone who treads my path, breakdown is a familiar process. You learn to go through the motions and remain dormant, a vessel without a captain. For all I've built, I have to watch fall, every brick of memory and every stone of thought plummets to the ground, and my heart gradually slows. As the final brick falls, my everything dies, my colors drained, and light fades to black. Do I have the strength to grab my withering pieces and try to put them back together. This puzzle has been solved too many times, and my life has discovered a passion for watching me struggle and doubt myself. I don't know how much longer I can bare this. This routine has torn me apart, beaten me, abused me, tortured me, and it refuses to stop. Everytime I'm faced with the intimate enemy, I return lacking a fraction of myself. Eventually my fractions will reduce to zeros. It has grown into a permanent weight on my shoulders, if I can't gain the strength to overcome, it'll constantly keep me positioned in this giant chess game of affliction. I need to be weary of my every move and have each step be thought out, but it's tired me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I need a rebirth, rehabilitation, resurrection, because this can't go on. That theory of completion is just an illusion, hidden by spells and potions. I'm constantly engineering a countermeasure that will one day allow me to fully come out on the top and deny this constant adversity. Until that second, I must strife my way through the minefields and climb my crumbling wall until I construct my throne at the top where I can rest with a view of clarity.

Original Creation - 7/4/2013